Yes that is the right title for this blog posting because for a change I have no creative title to include with this writing. I feel my mind going in so many directions lately that I am tired of thinking and trying to make up solutions to my problems. My problems are not life changing or mind blowing problems. Each problem is manageable provided that I allow myself to think clearly. But that is the main problem right now, I can't think clearly and I feel like I am am just "winging it" through life at this point in time. As they say" I am rolling with the punches but these punches are coming to often again. Even a boxer gets a break between rounds, but I haven't heard the bell yet so I have to try to stand tall and take these body shots and keep my eyes open for that haymaker right cross.
It seems like no sooner than I back my problems into a corner and I have them on the ropes, something's breaks it up and gives my problems breathing room to recover. I can't even do a good "rope-a-dope" to trick my problems into moving close for me to blast the hell out of them.
As much as I am expected to keep a happy face on around friends and family, I just can't do it anymore. It is more work to be what everyone else wants me to be than me just being who I can be. There are several moments were I have to ask myself, do I really want to be doing this or that. Am I doing it because that is what is expected of me? Or am I doing this because it makes me happy? In reality, I am not happy with 65% of my current life, but there is nobody to blame but myself. There is no fixing the 65% because it is what it is, and I have no interest in fixing it because I am just to tired of it all.
I still believe every new day is the chance for improvement and a blessing to be on this side of a dirt nap. I am in it until the very end, and will keep taking the gut punches, the right crosses, the upper cuts and even those numerous rabbit punches. Because I know I have it in me to win this battle with a TKO, although it won't be pretty and there is a damn good chance that I will be a little punch drunk in the future. So if I you see me looking off into the distance with a blank stare, leave me alone, I am more than likely dreaming of a much better plan.
